Trump Tweet Printer
Standard Size

Enjoy non-stop Don, in your John! 
Plentiful, entertaining and now flushable, the Donald's tweets will provide hours of reading enjoyment in your bathroom. Introducing the Donald J. Trump Tweet Printer. Simply insert your smartphone into the dock and our proprietary firmware will sync with the president's Twitter feed and print to most any standard roll of toilet paper using vibrant soy-based inks.

MATERIALS: Made of American cardboard and ink.
SIZE: 11.25 x 9 x 3.25 (About the size of a giant phone book)
Made in the USA

Note to Darrin S. in Newport, Vermont: This is a GIFT BOX ONLY. Please don't call us again and leave a 12 minute voice mail complaining about "some stupid box that got my hopes up with no God-damned product inside."


BE HONEST. ARE YOU LAZY?

If so, we've created just the thing for you. It's called email and it's pretty damn amazing.  Here's how it works: Instead of you checking back every hour for new products, we'll simply send you an electronic note from our computer to your computer. Voila! You're instantly in the know hours (if not days) ahead of non-email subscribers!  Pity them.